I think that’s what you said about conditional love is interesting. It is certainly true of many, to be sure… But I would venture to say that many parents continue to love their children even if they don’t condone their lifestyles.
You mentioned drugs as an example… most parents don’t want their kids to take drugs because it’s a destructive path for them to take. They may, after many attempts to get their children help, find that their child refuses to get help, then see no other alternative but to cut communication with their child so as not to enable them in their habit (ie: not bailing them out of jail so the child can go back to their drug of choice).
But that cut communication is devastating for the parents. The parents don’t stop thinking of their kid: they are always concerned about their safety and well being.
In other words, it’s still love; it just takes a different form. The parents need to be strong and unified about it but their child’s lifestyle breaks their hearts. And maybe the child with the addiction hates that their parents are being firm with them and then chooses to say things like, “I don’t have parents,” or “My parents hate me,” when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I pray for my kids often, and I wonder whether they will make healthy choices or destructive ones in the future. If they make destructive ones, I won’t love them any less. It’ll just feel like my heart is being cut up in little pieces when I think of them. I will yearn for them to be restored to health and in their relationship to me (because choices affect relationships). I will constantly be asking for wisdom and peace, because it’ll be impossible to get if I’m not praying for it.
Thanks for sharing this, Brandon. You have a way with words and I especially appreciated the explanation about the Greek. I knew some of those words, but not all of them.
Thank you, Jen! Yes, I understand what you're saying about parents being concerned and loving differently, and that's where "tough love" comes in, and I should've made that distinction. It's difficult for some parents (and people in general) to understand being gay. Some may lump it in with a choice, like doing drugs. This is the case with my dad. He takes the idea of tough love a little too far.
I'm glad there are parents like you in the world. I hope and pray your children remain happy and healthy.
Thanks again for the response. I truly appreciate the conversation.
I love this! It's very true, there are so many types of love. I used to dish out "I love you"s nilly-willy to friends at school. Nowadays, I save it for my husband and close family...and cat. I love the part about biological family not needing to be the Storge love. "Family is more than blood." Mandalorian saying. And it's true. Family is what you make it, you clan, your tribe, your family, regardless of blood bonds or ties.
Thank you! I'm so glad you got something out of it. I hear many people saying "I love you" so often, I wonder if it loses its meaning. Then again, I reserve it so much that people may wonder if I feel it at all. Haha.
I think that’s what you said about conditional love is interesting. It is certainly true of many, to be sure… But I would venture to say that many parents continue to love their children even if they don’t condone their lifestyles.
You mentioned drugs as an example… most parents don’t want their kids to take drugs because it’s a destructive path for them to take. They may, after many attempts to get their children help, find that their child refuses to get help, then see no other alternative but to cut communication with their child so as not to enable them in their habit (ie: not bailing them out of jail so the child can go back to their drug of choice).
But that cut communication is devastating for the parents. The parents don’t stop thinking of their kid: they are always concerned about their safety and well being.
In other words, it’s still love; it just takes a different form. The parents need to be strong and unified about it but their child’s lifestyle breaks their hearts. And maybe the child with the addiction hates that their parents are being firm with them and then chooses to say things like, “I don’t have parents,” or “My parents hate me,” when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I pray for my kids often, and I wonder whether they will make healthy choices or destructive ones in the future. If they make destructive ones, I won’t love them any less. It’ll just feel like my heart is being cut up in little pieces when I think of them. I will yearn for them to be restored to health and in their relationship to me (because choices affect relationships). I will constantly be asking for wisdom and peace, because it’ll be impossible to get if I’m not praying for it.
Thanks for sharing this, Brandon. You have a way with words and I especially appreciated the explanation about the Greek. I knew some of those words, but not all of them.
Thank you, Jen! Yes, I understand what you're saying about parents being concerned and loving differently, and that's where "tough love" comes in, and I should've made that distinction. It's difficult for some parents (and people in general) to understand being gay. Some may lump it in with a choice, like doing drugs. This is the case with my dad. He takes the idea of tough love a little too far.
I'm glad there are parents like you in the world. I hope and pray your children remain happy and healthy.
Thanks again for the response. I truly appreciate the conversation.
I love this! It's very true, there are so many types of love. I used to dish out "I love you"s nilly-willy to friends at school. Nowadays, I save it for my husband and close family...and cat. I love the part about biological family not needing to be the Storge love. "Family is more than blood." Mandalorian saying. And it's true. Family is what you make it, you clan, your tribe, your family, regardless of blood bonds or ties.
Thank you! I'm so glad you got something out of it. I hear many people saying "I love you" so often, I wonder if it loses its meaning. Then again, I reserve it so much that people may wonder if I feel it at all. Haha.
Hehe you say it for when you vibrate with the words the most. That's awesome.